Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Peer edit- Jack Sullivan

1. Yes
2. It states the problem, but not the solution
3. It doesn't address the counter arguments. Include information on how the police would defend their side.
4. Yes. It's something that most students have expierenced so it's easy to relate to.
5. It's not split into paragraphs yet. An intro, body paragraphs, and conclusion would help. A natural break would be the part where you discuss your accident.
6. Each paragraph will have an idea once split up.
7. The writing is clear. It proves your point very well. There are some grammar errors that can easily be fixed.

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